Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
