He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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