Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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