The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
