It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize