we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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