No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
