I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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