is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
40s are totally the cure
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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