Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
