Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
