He asked to "fluff my boner.."
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
