It's Friday. Sex?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
