yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
