Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize