he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
