People in love make me want to vomit
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize