she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
