He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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