he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
