the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
