which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
