I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
