I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
