So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
