There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
