I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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