i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
