found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
