My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
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