Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
