You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
