What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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