The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
