Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize