Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
