they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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