I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
