he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
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