Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
