I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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