how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
