How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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