I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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