I need help removing her.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
