he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Randomize