Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
