am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize