I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
