went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
