I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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