Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize