And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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