You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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