shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
