So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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