i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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