it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
