I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
