Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
