I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
