Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
