I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
