Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
i believe in u and ur pee
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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