I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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