All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
