at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
