I'm lost and stupid without you.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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