I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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