We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
