wrigley field is MILF paradise
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
